This is a tongue in cheek look at the annual madness of school applications and Open Days which is about to commence in earnest.
Schools across the suburbs are being spruced up for the onslaught of hundreds of Grade 7s and their parents who will be traipsing through the schools in the coming weeks.
Application forms, photographs, certified copies of reports, rates accounts for proof of residence and a myriad of other forms. Being sent home when you get to the secretaries office because you don’t have a particular form. The joys of the applications process!!!
I look particularly forward to the amazing covering letters accompanying the applications which start with “Bergvliet High has everything we need Mr Price….” but finish with a last paragraph that says….”and that’s why Westerford is the only school we are applying for”….those are the funniest let me tell you!!!
Comparisons and checklists made to choose schools – 100% vs 99.5% matric pass rate, single sex vs co-ed, how good/not good is the school at sport, school fees above R40K against those under R30K, distance to school and time sitting in traffic, how many friends are attending which school. Endless discussions around braais, suburban coffee shops and in the car parks at primary school, all of which lead to widely differing conclusions as to which is the BEST school.
Stubborn pre-teens digging in their heels about which school they want to go to, some who couldn’t be bothered, Dad wanting his son to follow in his footsteps, Mom needing reassurance that her baby won’t be bullied, which school are “The Jones’s” sending their Jack or Jill. Oh the STRESS!!!!
Too many people to satisfy, too many questions to answer, too many schools, too much paperwork, too much anxiety and stress.
And then once you have made your decision….the school has ticked every one of the two hundred boxes on your list, …you have to you answer that last dreaded question….”Where are you sending Feather or Fanie to school next year?…..and when you answer…thy awkward silence, you see those glances cast between the others around the table and the imperceptible shakes of the head….and then… just in case you think you must be imagining this… comes the condescending hand pat coupled with the “I am sure Feather will be fine”. And, as the self doubt floods through your entire system, you dash home to rescue the lists from the dustbin.
Perhaps I can help….if Bergvliet High is the closest high school to your home, then bring me your proof of residence and I will offer Feather or Fanie, Jack or Jill, Sipho or Sonelise, Carlton or Catelinne, a place at the School immediately. No anxiety, no stress, no queues, minimal forms once you’ve accepted my offer, no endless Open Day tours, no time off work and no awkward letters to me either. One form One Offer
Bergvliet High offers academic excellence, competitive sport, world class facilities, jazz and classical music, visual art, focus on Sciences and Maths, pastoral support second to none, a wide range of cultural activities and clubs, AP Maths, a range of language choices, a less than 0,5 chance of failing matric, access to the top universities, fees which are expensive enough to cause you to check the bank balance without actually breaking the bank and all this is on your doorstep.
Now that is an offer worth looking at. All I need is your proof of residence and your cast iron commitment to match mine to you.